You may be feeling like something major needs to shift in your life, you’re searching for clarity, direction, answers and greater fulfillment. Something in your life is causing you suffering, you are struggling in some area of life, health, relationships, career, parenting, or perhaps outside stuff is ok, but inside you hurt.
You may be questioning what am I missing, why am I struggling so, why is this so hard, I’m tired of feeling so unfulfilled. What seems clear is that what your doing is not working, you often feel stressed, stuck, alone, and are experiencing a sense that something is terribly wrong!
I know what you’re feeling and I can help.
You may have moments of hope or satisfaction, but they are always followed up with doubt, fear, insecurity and pain. This is good news, this is the wake up call. This is how we grow and expand because we are evolutionary by nature.
We have been programmed for our whole lives that happiness is about getting our ducks in order, get the degree, the job, the house, the relationship, then you’ll be happy. Our whole culture is constantly sending us messages that we need this _______ and then we’ll be happy. This is the big lie, that we are not whole, complete and perfect already and we need to go do this, get this and once we do do do do do then external success, achieving, accomplishment and acquiring will bring us peace.
I know all about this, in fact I’ve had this exact experience many many times, it’s called hitting bottom, a personal crash, what you’re doing is not working, and trying harder makes it worse. I’ve had these bottoming out experiences many times in my life.
Two years ago, I found my perfect job, it was my great passion, a perfect use of many of my skills, I adored the clients I served, I was really good at it, and about 10 months later the job went away. I was devastated. A few months later a wonderful relationship ended and this screaming internal dialogue went full throttle "Holy shit, what is happening", my core trauma got triggered, deep inner wounds came to the surface and it was so painful.
I woke up every day, feeling intense pressure (the voices in my head were so critical and harsh) I was trying to hold it together, I had children depending on me, but no matter what I tried things kept unraveling. I had some awareness that what I was doing wasn’t working, that something that wasn't in alignment with my Soul, but I wasn’t clear about what to do.
My thoughts were critical of the choices I'd made, and fearful about how things were going (or not going). My confidence and morale plummeted, and I was imagining the worst. The situation was the opposite of what I wanted, and was in a downward spiral.
Then it all became a self-fulfilling prophecy. I kept trying to tape and paste things back together but I found no lasting peace. It was a very, very dark time. :(
I was doing spiritual work during this time, I was reaching out for help, I was willing, but I didn’t realize that the reason I was so afraid was that I was depending on me, the little me, I couldn’t seem to connect to my Source, I couldn’t seem to feel the presence of God, at least for more than an instant, because the voices in my head were so loud and my core trauma was ACTIVATED!
My friend calls it a trauma bubble, and when we’re in it, we’re not gonna get ourselves out, we need help, serious help, it’s a self centered fear, self reliance that’s buried deep in the tissues of the body, and until we pull that toxic conditioning out, it’s running us. This is the cause of suffering, addiction, this creates dis ease of all kinds, it’s a cancer ( a me me me cell that creates chaos), it’s a mental illness that drives us insane and again it’s a wake up call. What doesn’t kill ya makes you stronger, but only when you fall to your knees and surrender. Healing requires opening to the pain and learning to meet it in the body and bringing love to the wounds.
If you are ready to commit yourself to finding the healer within, surrendering to practice of loving and opening to what is, and dropping all resistance, I’m here to help and share with you, how I find freedom and peace again.
You may be looking for a guide to lead you to your own "inner knowing” to assist you in connecting to your GPS that provides guidance and direction for the journey HOME to your true self.